Ohkay so, while doing some household chore, I needed a background noise, so I decided to tune to Good Morning Pakistan, as I was in a mood for some celebrity interview but the first thumbnail in the Good Morning Pakistan archive on Dramasonline caught my eye as it had an image of Nida Yasir & Noor Bukhari. I thought they both must be conducting a show together so let’s just give it a whirl & to add to my woes & to some laughter fits, I found out they were conducting a Shadi Week on Good Morning Pakistan, where every single day a celebrity couple was modelling for them & was getting re-married for the sake of the show. Well, I think I got lucky to laugh because the episode that I watched was dedicated to the Baraat Function & guess which celebrity was getting married in this show? It was Syed Jibran with his wife of 5 years Afifa!
Well, the episode began with Nida & Noor badmouthing people who attend weddings & have no manners, like this was something so new that I immediately left everything & wanted to hear their profound conversation on the subject (coughing sarcasm). Nida made faces while telling how people waste food & how they grab soft drinks as if they have never had any before, hmmmm, such a beautiful conversation to start your or anyone’s day with, hai na? What level of hosting I must say!
Nida then walked towards some ‘Thaal’ that she had prepared for some ‘Rasm’ but the Thaal here is not a thing to be rejoiced upon, what actually should be appreciated is the fact that Nida put a lot of emphasis on the fact that she conducted some ‘RESEARCH’ & found out about this beautiful Rasm that she was now going to ‘teach’ to all those viewers who were tuned to her show right now. The word research caught me off guard as I am sure this concept was something brand new to Nida because if she had an idea what the art of researching was, she would’ve conducted it before she interviewed the students that prepared Pakistan’s First Electric Formula Racing Car to save herself the shame of not knowing what a Formula Racing Car is by asking them stupid questions. I am sure by now a lot of you guys already know about this but if you don’t, don’t worry, I will be pasting the link of the write up in which I spoke about the not-so-intelligent incident. Well, in the beginning Nida & Noor took pride in the ratings & the positive feedback that they were getting, which forced me to nod my head in a state of pity for both these women who sounded so deluded!
Since, Nida made so much of an emphasis on the word ‘research’ it compelled me to do some myself to find out how many words a woman speaks on a daily basis, so the answer that I got was 20,000. Well I am speaking about this for a reason but let me share the backstory which pushed me to do this ‘research’. When Nadia Khan came back from her 5 year break & was asked time & again about the reasons why she bid farewell to her show that was doing so well in terms of popularity, the first thing that Nadia said was that being a morning show host was taking a toll on her vocal chords & her doctor clearly told her that if she keeps this up, she will end up losing her voice. At first I actually thought that she was just giving excuses because the actual reason behind her leaving the show was her spat with Noor’s husband that cost her, her morning show but then Nadia played an old clip from her previous show & then spoke on the current show again to draw a comparison & yes, even I was astonished with the difference in her voice. Nadia put things into perspective by saying that her chords needed a break & she needed a therapy to recover.
So yes, now it’s time for me to make my point, since my ‘research’ told me that women on an average speak 20,000 words, for Nida ever since she has started hosting Good Morning Pakistan; this number must be around 500,000 I believe (read I am sure). So, now if you listen to her, you can clearly see her voice giving up on her where she now sounds husky & manly, exactly the symptoms that Nadia described & later proved by showing her old footage. I think this will be my public service message to Nida that she either needs to calm her chords down or needs to make an appointment with the doctor ASAP because she has literally ruined her voice & her incessant yelling & screaming like an infant doesn’t help her either. Giving up on morning show would be an ideal situation but I know this is something that will never happen since Nida intends to celebrate her Silver or Golden Jubilee of her wedding on Good Morning Pakistan so yes, even if she doesn’t want to leave hosting, the best she can do is fix her voice up as she doesn’t sound appeasing to the ears & God Bless all those whose brain cells get damaged (me included) every time she screams “OOOOKAYYYYYYYYYY”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyways, let’s move forward to the actual Baraat celebration, which started off by ladies adorned in extremely heavy but completely sponsored joras making it to the stage riding motor bikes hahahah! Jibran as a Dulha made an entry in a red convertible BMW with ‘Dhoom Macha Le’ song playing in the background. I think Nida is doing Dhoom franchise a favor where she is giving free ideas to the producers of Dhoom Series that if they ever feel like making Dhoom – Shadi Edition, this is how the hero or the villain can make an entry with their ladyloves, adorned from head to toe, sitting behind them looking like useless mannequins, like how all these ladies looked on those bikes. Also, God Bless the guy who rode the bike that Ambar Khan was sitting at as it’s not easy giving a bike ride to a woman your mother’s age, haddi wadi toot jati to us becharay pe blame aa jata but fortunately, he had a lot of control so well done boy! Anyways, If I am not mistaken, ARY takes pride in their ‘Made In Pakistan’ & ‘Pakistani Tujhe Salam’ slogans, so not sure why this entire show was echoing with Bollywood songs. Anyways, later Jibran’s wife made an entry on a Doli which Nida promised will move itself but I spotted 2 guys pushing it LOOOOL! I can’t stop laughing!
I won’t comment on Jibran’s wife Afifa because she’s a very sweet girl who seemed genuinely happy plus she has nothing to do with the industry so it’s ohkay. Afifa only had to attend this fiasco because she happens to be Jibran’s wife but yes, I will say that Jibran, I expected better from you. I think Jibran gave Nida a huge favor since the point was also made how Jibran & Yasir Nawaz are best friends so this turned out to be their milli bhaggat where I am sure Jibran wouldn’t have been able to refuse his clingy Nida Bhabhi! I must say Afifa looked absolutely gorgeous but too bad she was at Nida’s show because the moment she started speaking in English that too in her British accent, she got snubbed by Nida thrice since I am sure Nida’s brain cells weren’t in a condition to translate what Afifa was saying to her & very conveniently she used the audience as an excuse to convince Afifa to speak in Urdu, once again showcasing how ill-mannered she is.
Well the show progressed with a game segment where Afifa & Jibran had to make some promises to each other. I think more than that segment, what I found interesting & ridiculously amusing was Noman Javaid’s input in the whole scenario, where he reminded me of those uncles at the weddings who keep on cracking jokes & keep on laughing at those jokes themselves because no one else bothers paying attention to what they are saying. LOL! Like it was good seeing Noman Javaid keeping himself entertained with his punch-less jokes, but I must appreciate his enthusiasm because even after getting ignored for may be a thousand times, he didn’t give up. That my friend is the spirit to be on a morning show!
The show didn’t stop there, it had some performances too but by this time my ears were in severe pain so I had to forward them but the glimpse that I caught of Sana Fakhar’s performance on ‘Dhol Bajay’ was enough to tell me that she was not only having a hard time in carrying herself on her two delicate feet, she also was having an issue controlling the dress that she was wearing because after a certain point, she was ungracefully all over the stage, lol! The second performance was done by Natasha & Arbaz Khan & I didn’t bother watching it.
Apart from Ambar, Kiran & Binita (since they make a living out of these morning shows) I found all the other celebrities redefining the proverb ‘begaani shaadi mai Abdullah deewana’. However, there were a few celebrities who conducted themselves very gracefully like Tipu Sharif, Humera Arshad & Fizza Ali because after a certain point they all seemed aloof to their surroundings as if they only attended this ‘wedding’ as a formality & weren’t interested much in what was happening around them & most importantly why! Well, by the time Nida announced that all the actors will have to cry in a funny way to make Rukhsati ‘light-hearted’, I gave up because this is not a joke, I felt mentally tired & I went for a nap to recover my brain cells from the scrutiny they were put through!
So, while watching this show, even though I had a good time because I was laughing at the circus that was happening in front of me, I was wondering about the message that they were giving to the audience. There were times when Nida made an emphasis on the ‘rasms’ & the ‘tips’ of a happy married life that she was ‘teaching’ to her viewers but on a bigger scale, what else did she teach? Are they so dumb to not know that by glorifying these types of lavish weddings, they are setting a wrong precedent? What are they showing to their impressionable audience that this is how weddings should be? With marriages being difficult these days because of their affordability & the cost that they come with, in stead of teaching people how they can cut the costs, these shallow-minded, dim-witted show hosts & their teams come up with these Shadi weeks to promote the idea of big fat weddings as if those who won’t have these kinds of weddings, won’t have prosperity in their sacred union?
Seriously starting from their hair-dyes to the nail polishes on their toes, to these sets to their dresses, their makeups & their jewelry, every single thing is sponsored so what are they trying to tell to the audience that this is the standard & they have to follow it even if they can’t afford it? These show hosts should know better that even if their dresses are sponsored, the people who are watching them will have to buy them with their hard-earned money so what kind of vicious circle are they initiating? Why is it that in so many years, I have never come across one such show where Nida or her team had done some ‘RESEARCH’ to help people wisely budget their weddings & cut the unnecessary costs that put a burden on those who are arranging weddings for their family members? Like while watching this 1 hour show (which I covered in less than 30 minutes), all I could think of was what a waste of time & resources this show was. While watching this show, I was just looking forward to one intelligent or important piece of advice that all those celebrities present at the show might give to the audience but the ratio of stupidity to intelligence was 100:0. Seriously, where marriages have become so difficult for regular people because of all these societal standards & norms, the media should take responsibility in teaching people better in stead of glorifying these standards for everyone to follow & in stead of conducting these Shadi weeks to kill their severe boredom!
Shame on them I swear!
Link to Nida’s Formula Racing Car Blunder:
Link to the atrocity:
Zahra Mirza.