If you have ever been in a relationship then you would know the most difficult part of any relationship is, no; not telling the other person how you feel about them, no; not saving up to take the love of your life on a date, and no certainly not telling your parents about your soul mate. It is coming up with that one, convincing break up line that will set you free after you have spent enough time or more than enough time in a saturated relationship.
You ponder for hours, try to imagine her reaction, how will she take it and then you have to choose a safe place to take her to perform this much anticipated act of bravery that will inevitably result in your freedom. That will open the path way for brighter horizons and greener pastures.
You have everything in order, you have practiced that heart wrenching tone over and over again, your heart breaking expression is perfect with hours of practice in front of a mirror (that you did of course ages ago before your first break up) but still you have doubts about that one final blow that will end your misery. You have therefore rehearsed a number of break-up lines, just in case. If one doesn’t deliver the desired results, you can always have the other to fall back on. But since you are a pacifist at heart, you want to keep it as humane as possible, least possible pain and still the eradication of the problem.
You will of course start with that one, innocent line that you know is harmless “You Deserve Better”, how ingenious and crafty, it will not only make your intentions clear, it will also get you the status of a Martyr. You want whats best for her, you are willing to get your own heart broken to pieces but still want her to be happy. Ahhhhhhh, you are a gentleman.
And when the waterworks start and tears start coming out, “Burre Tum Nahi, Burra Main Hoon”, yes its true but say it like you are taking the blame for getting your own heart ripped out of your chest. Release her from any blame, if this doesn’t get you the martyred status, then she is selfish and self-centered to the core.
“Mayray Gharwalay Nahi Maan Rahay”, if she is as stubborn and thick headed as a mule and doesn’t show any signs of getting the hint and leaving you alone then use this Time Honored One Liner. Put the blame on the dreaded in-laws, yes she will have someone to blame and hate, it will relieve the pain and anger and you would still manage to come out as a poor, wronged, heart broken eastern “Obedient Son” , who gave preference to his parents wishes over his own.
“Ho Sakay To Mughay Maaf Kardayna, Aur mughay Bhool Kar Khush Raihna” what appears as the most selfless, heart felt and sincere last advice of a heart broken lover are in fact the future plans of a man whose soul has just tasted the sweet taste of freedom. Now that who have got the desired results, its time to do the damage control, for that bring atleast a box of tissues so that when she is done calling you every name in the book and has cried her eyes out, you can still be the gentleman that you assume you are and help her clean up her over flowing maskara.
Congratulations, mission successful, you are now free to move on with your other pending relationships and break-ups.
Written by Kiran Akhtar