Ohkay so, there used to be a time when our dramas were filled with amazing female characters but the most important character that almost everyone looked up-to was that of a mother because one way or the other, a mother had a very important role to play in the plot. Unfortunately, we experienced how writers creativity (coughing in sarcasm) took a toll on all the relations that are sacred to us but recently, they have literally butchered the concept of love, companionship, comfort & intuition that a mother is made of by showing us botched up mothers in our dramas & frankly speaking, no one understands these sort of mothers & no one can relate to them, why…because no one has seen such mothers & the likes of them in their real lives.
We have come across a lot of interviews where the writers believe they are showing us the “real picture” of what happens in our society but I would do the honors of bursting the bubble they live in that no matter how wrong a woman must be for someone else, when it comes to her children, she is always going to be an embodiment of selflessness, unlimited love, understanding & friendship because mothers are blessed with an intuition that never allows them to not notice the things their kids are going through. I am actually disgusted at how the writers have started using mothers as fillers who are free of everything, starting from sensibility to courtesy when it comes to their own children.
It is actually a sad state of affairs for our dramas that almost all the relations, well not almost, in fact all the relations have been ruined by the writers because they want to sensationalize & dramatize their stories by showing us extreme & most highly unlikely scenarios, but what I fail to understand is, what good are they achieving out of ruining a mother son or mother daughter equation in our dramas? It looks like the mother’s character is something that the writers do not pay attention to & when they are done with the whole story, they add the mother’s character as an after-thought, to complete the family picture because other than that, there’s no role that a mother plays in her children’s life & she is only used as a source to let everyone know how their hero & heroine made to this world because after that, her duty is done & she is free from all the obligations that a mother has towards her children.
It is quite amusing yet alarming to see them showing how the mothers are so oblivious of what their children are going through. I miss seeing such mothers who can sense the mental & emotional state of their kids just by having a look at them. It is actually quite contradictory that they start off at a point where they show that a mother is the most courteous & considerate human being that has walked on the face of the Earth, but it lasts till her kid; daughter especially lands into a trouble because that’s when the courtesy & consideration escapes from the roshan daan of the bathroom & mother takes a new janam & she is reincarnated as someone who is free of any such motherly instincts & we get to see a new avatar of mother who is worried about everyone else around her, except her own daughter.
Our recent dramas are filled with such beautiful examples that put all the mothers to shame because they do everything they are supposed to do, to make things even more difficult for a daughter. Ever since our writers have gotten fixated with the idea of rape, they have made sure that the rapist finds an alliance within his victim’s home & he hits a jackpot because it is the mother who is going gaga over the rapist of her own daughter for the reasons best known to her. The mahaan mothers in Chup Raho & Sangat are clear winners when it comes to befriending the rapists because when it comes to their daughters, they end up suffering from short term memory loss & easily forget what their daughter has been through. Our writers have really underestimated the power of a mother & the lengths she can go to in order to protect her child who has been through such a physical & emotional trauma. Where Rameen’s mother in Chup Raho was hired at Rs. 500/hour to say ‘Chup Raho’ repeatedly, Ayesha’s mother in Sangat is hired to create a comfy abode for her daughter’s rapist, but if I have to pick one of them for the Worst Mother of the Century Award, then hands down, Zubaida of Sangat is the undisputed winner because she has completely erased the memory of what happened to her daughter, she has defied the grandma gene because she is completely aloof to the condition of her ailing grand-daughter, she is educated enough to send her daughter off to see the shrink but doesn’t have a time to sit with her daughter herself, she is stupid enough to blame her daughter for flirting with her muh-bola beta aka rapist & to top it all, she has adopted the rapist & is doing everything to babysit him because she is so courteous that her heart will burst if she doesn’t shower someone with the love she carries in her heart for everyone, excluding her daughter & her granddaughter.
If the writers want to show mothers like Rasheeda of Sadqay Tumhare, then it actually makes sense because Rasheeda’s character was completely black & she was against each & everyone in her family. She never had a good relation with her mother, she hated her sister, she used & fooled her husband & then when it came to her daughter, she was against her happiness too, so that actually made us understand her character that Rasheeda was someone who could never see anyone else happy so to see her bent on ruining Shano’s life seemed justified from her perspective, but what justification do the writers have for coming up with the characters like Rameen & Ayesha’s mothers who are best of friends with EVERYONE around them, who are walking an extra mile for EVERYONE around them, who are babysitting EVERYONE around them except their own daughters? I find it hard to absorb that the mothers in our dramas are shown to form stronger ties & relations with strangers & not worry an ounce about the sufferings of their own children. It is often seen that if a daughter is in a vulnerable state & has hit the rock bottom, the mother would speak about all the weak points & will only talk about the negative side of the spectrum to shake & burden her daughter even more. Instead of telling her that things are going to be ohkay, our mothers are seen forcing their daughters to do the things that will never make them happy & won’t let their inner-selves be in peace. Recently, Munira in Gul-e-Rana has hopped on the bandwagon too & the way she is progressing, I am sure it won’t take her too long to make it to the Hall of Fame of worst mothers because Gul-e-Rana’s cousin, who hardly meets her could sense that Rana didn’t look happy, even the servant of the house Gulab Khan looked more like a mother to her because he could see that Rana was down & depressed, but the one who became the brand ambassador of blindfolds at that point was Rana’s mother Munira, who only showed up with a baton to remind her daughter that she has to please her sartaaj & she is not allowed to cause him distress or else her mother will go on a wheezing spree!
I actually detest the idea that mothers are only used as preachers & that too for all the wrong reasons. It’s been a while where we got to see such a scenario that in stead of worrying about her own nose, a mother got down to the level of her daughter & thought things through her daughter’s perspective. I thank my friend Fatima Awan for pointing out another questionable trend that when a daughter shows at a door step with a luggage in her hand, a mother never asks or gives a thought to what her daughter must’ve been through. In fact the moment the door bell rings, a mother rolls up her sleeves & starts brainstorming to come up with an emotional blackmailing tactic to send her daughter back to her sartaaj’s house. Kiran’s mother in Kankar was also another one of those mighty mothers who thought it was ohkay to let go of her husband’s secret history of domestic abuse in order to convince her daughter that it is ohkay to get beaten up by your husband because by the end of the day, you need to rely on a man for so many things & that’s how the life goes by! Another fact that is sickening is that they always show women from middle class & at times those who themselves are educated, who can do so much more than what they think. I am not generalizing here by speaking about a social class but it doesn’t quite hit home for me that mothers who do have a little more resources are shown so weak & highly dependent.
Oh, another trend that has been prevailing in our dramas is that behind every forced marriage, there is going to be a mother & make no mistake, she will do everything to hold her ground & would resort to lying if she feels the need to add more weight to her decision. I just watched Aabro (keep an eye for its overview though) & in this drama too, Ali’s mother, even after getting a clear cut STOP sign from her son is bent on getting him married to the girl she thinks is good for him. Why can’t we see more such characters of mothers like Durr-e-Shahwaar, who when sensed what her daughter was going through, decided to guide her using her own journey as an example? She was able to do that because she herself lived an exemplary life, that is why when she felt her daughter needed a lifelong lesson, she shared everything with her just in order to help the situation. Even though, this one isn’t that examplary of a mother but I liked the mother-children relation that was shown in Miraat ul Uroos, where Rafia was in an awe of her kids but when her eldest son Hammad, who she loved the most started to draw a line after his marriage, she didn’t make things awkward for him & took a step back to show her support even though she was hurt by his attitude.
It is actually a shame that now when I am trying to think about the characters of good mothers, I really am forced to do some thinking but when it comes to the weird mummies out there, the list is never-ending. I actually wish to see a mother & a daughter having a heart to heart conversation with each other. I actually wish to see such a scenario where a daughter doesn’t have to say anything & before the words make it to her mouth, it’s the mother who reads her mind & asks what she is going through. I so wish to see such a mother who isn’t so oblivious of her daughter’s hardships. I so wish to see a mother who creates such an atmosphere for her daughter where she knows that despite failing many a times, her mother is going to stay by her side & protect her no matter what. I so wish to see them showing us what an actual & ideal relationship between a mother & daughter is like. I so wish to see such a mother who fights against all the odds & stands by her daughter’s side no matter what. I so wish to see a mother who is more sensitive towards her own children than she is towards the strangers.
Our dramas have always been our pride & joy & we love it when we get to know that our dramas are being appreciated but unfortunately, it looks like some writers these days are only focused on ruining the image of our dramas not only in Pakistan but in the outside world too, because of their limited mental capabilities & typical mindedness. No doubt our writers deserve to be acknowledged for showing creativity in terms of writing but sadly, in a completely wrong direction. They have ruined each & every relation that we experience but I so wish they stop doing this to the sacred relation that a mother has with her offspring. I hope that before penning down the scripts & even before focusing on the problems & issues of a hero heroine, our writers put their heart & soul in the characters of a mother & would make her so strong that she will take the story forward by staying true to what she is known for & by showcasing what she is capable of. Please share your thoughts about this unfortunate portrayal of weak & clueless mothers & feel free to talk about the trends that you’ve noticed related to mothers in our dramas as well.