Emotional distance in a relationship can make two people drift apart even when they are living together. Many couples who live under the same roof feel that they are not connected emotionally the way they once were. There can be many reasons for this emotional distance and fixing this problem depends on what this reason is. It is really important for couples to work on fixing this problem because otherwise, they will feel lonely and unhappy even when they have a partner who loves them. This feeling might be present on both sides or sometimes one of the partners might feel that the emotional connection between them is no longer as strong as before. This is a difficult period for both the partners but staying strong and not giving up is the key to a lasting relationship.
If you and your partner are drifting apart emotionally then here are some ways you can fix the problem.
Communication Is The Key
If you feel that your partner is no longer emotionally available, talk to them instantly. Most of the time people ignore this feeling until it is replaced by resentment because they feel that their partner is ignoring them. At other times, people are unsure; they feel that perhaps they are being overly sensitive. Do not keep on questioning how you are feeling but recognize the problem and talk about it. You never know your partner might be feeling the same way but is holding back. Sometimes healthy communication is the first step towards resolving problems.
Make a List of The Reasons
After you have a conversation with your partner, make a list of the possible reasons for this emotional distance. It could be that your partner is under stress, is too busy or he/she is simply in need of alone time. Sometimes people need some space and want to be alone. If your partner wants to be alone for some time, respect their decision, and don’t feel bad about them wanting some space.
Think Less, Act More
Most of the time in such situations people think a little more than is necessary. Once you have figured out what the possible reasons can be for the emotional distance start acting on a plan to bridge this distance. You know your partner better than anyone else, instead of worrying about your relationship do what needs to be done. This will keep you motivated and busy. If your partner needs alone time then you should also plan something which will keep you busy.
Give It Time
Many couples who have been together for a long experience of emotional distancing. The majority of the couples manage to bridge the emotional distance with time. Don’t expect a quick fix, sometimes time can change things dramatically in a good way. Many couples say that such emotional distancing is most often just a passing phase in a relationship. You should know that this is the situation is only temporary.
Avoid Negative Thinking
When there is an emotional distance in a relationship, it is really common for the partners to think negative thoughts. Thoughts such as, “he doesn’t love me anymore”, “he might be interested in someone else”, “she does not find me attractive” are common in couples who are facing this issue. Whenever such thoughts come to your mind, think of all the reasons why you might think your partner still loves you.
Date nights once a week are a great way to bridge the emotional gap in a relationship. If you feel that your partner or you are too busy during the week then take the time out for a date night when you are available for each other emotionally. It is even better if the conversation revolves around how you feel during the week instead of what you have been doing.
Sometimes small gestures and surprises which might not even require a lot of effort make the other person feel special. Getting creative to get close to a distant partner can go a long way. Even if your partner is not making an effort, try doing so yourself.
Sometimes people become emotionally distant because they want to be heard but are not willing to listen. Is your partner not sharing things with you because you were never an active listener? If that is the case then listen to whatever they have to share with interest even if you don’t find it interesting enough.
Express Your Love Differently
Your partner might want you to express your love for them differently. While your idea of a great evening might be a candlelight dinner, it could mean something entirely different for your partner. Find out how your partner would like you to express your love for him/her and do whatever appeals to them the most. It can be something that doesn’t appeal to you but could work wonders for your relationship.
Get Professional Help
Even after trying to reach to your partner and doing everything suggested in this post, you feel that your partner is still emotionally distant, seek professional help. A good counselor or therapist can help you two figure out the reasons for the distance and also give you great tips to bridge it. Sometimes we overlook things that only a professional would notice after a session. Getting such help is always a step in the right direction and it can save your relationship.
Don’t give up on your relationship because relationships require conscious effort. You are not the only one going through this phase and if your relationship is strong, you will get through it.