Kankar Episode 12 – Appearances Can Be Deceptive

Jo tere haath ke kankar thay, vo meri rooh pe pathar thay, Ik umer tere sang kya chaltay, du chaar qadam bhi dobhar thay. Yeh tun mun kirchi kirchi hai, bikhray sheeshay kya joro gay!

These heart touching lines from the OST went perfectly with Kiran’s state of mind, she tries her best to wash away the scars left by the physical abuse that Sikandar subjected her to but they obviously were not going to wash away that easily. Besides, the scars on her soul were there to stay forever. My heart went out to Kiran as she tried to come into terms with what had happened; clueless and emotionally shattered Kiran found it impossible to forget what had transpired and found it impossible to move on. On the other hand there was one side of Sikandar that admitted that he was wrong but the other side of him was fully convinced that he did the right thing.

kankar1 Kiran’s mother in law had been subjected to physical abuse too; something that she is reminded of when she sees the scars on Kiran’s face. Her husband came across as such a good human being, just like Sikandar but he also had a darker side to him which only his wife knew about. Just like Kiran, Shaista also appears to have a perfect life but she has suffered through her married life; appearances indeed are very deceptive. The flashbacks were very nicely shown and they helped the viewers understand the dynamics of Shaista and Waqar’s relationship better. I agree with the idea put forth by this drama whole heartedly, most of the sons do take after their father even if they detest some habits in their fathers but many end up being like them once they grow up. We found out that Sikandar knew what his father put his mother through because he did say that his parents had fights too but they were happily married now. Shaista asks Kiran to change herself according to her husband’s wishes, which means she did just that and that is how she managed to keep her marriage intact. It is plain to see that there is a world of difference between the two women; Kiran is not going to forget everything with a smile that conveniently.

kankar4

Waqar used to make up for the domestic abuse by showering his wife with gifts and we saw Sikandar doing the exact same thing. Sanam Baloch’s expressions all through this latest installment were simply priceless. The way she conveyed more with her body language and expressions than through her dialogues was definitely no surprise but worth praising for sure. Kiran does not want her family to accept Sikandar’s money but she also is not in a position to take the money back from them. I may not have liked Fahad Mustafa’s acting in the beginning episodes but now he has convinced me that no one could have played this character better. I found it somewhat unbelievable that Kiran’s mother could not guess that there was a problem between Sikandar and Kiran because mothers are the first ones to sense these things.

kankar3

Unlike, the last episode, this latest installment kept me glued to my television screen. I truly felt for Kiran and could completely understand her predicament. Tonight’s episode completely focused on Kiran and Sikandar; the fact that we didn’t get to see what was going on in Faiqa’s household or what was happening with Rukhsar really helped. Although, the crying scene after the abuse was very long but it was very meaningful and done well too. This episode was a complete package full of emotions. I hope things continue at the same pace and the focus doesn’t shift from the lead characters. And most importantly, I hope that the play sends out a positive message to all those who have been subjected to domestic abuse and also those husbands who physically abuse their wives without having any respect for their dignity.

kankar8

Fatima Awan

  • sarah

    Great Acting by Sanam. I love her expression in this drama its fabulous. Sanam is fabulous actress

    • FatimaAwan

      Yes, that she is. She was brilliant in today’s episode in particular.

  • Esha

    excellent review

    todays episode was better, full of emotions and feelings
    hoping to see the same standard of episodes in future, and ofcourse wishing it to be a bit happier too 🙂

    • FatimaAwan

      Esha, totally agree with you. I really hope that they do not bore us with long scenes of Faiqa and Rukhsar in the next episode.
      Thanks a lot for reading the reviews and for the regular feedback, it really means a lot to me.

      • faiza

        hi im faiza

      • faiza

        nd i wanna tell u that the situation which has being shown to u is not boring in case of rukhsar they have showed another side of this hypocritical society where a mother dosent easily get ready to loose her son for another girl to have a peacefull relation with how peoples are being fooled in the name of marriage and mothers of sons doing lucrative jobs are playing double game they feared that a if girl with beautifull looks young age and high education entered in their hose nobody would ask their daughters plus son would be completely got ‘blind” in her so they use their sons as a trump card to lure the mothers of daugters like rukhsar who have no choice except to make castles in air afterall they have spent their effort on thier sons now it is tym to take it back by hanging out every weekday on the house of to- be -inlaws

      • Esha

        I hope so 🙂

  • Amir Butt

    Loved you review Fatma…I agree with u even being guy i hate it when guys abuses their wives……its simply pathetic really…But i am loving KAnkar more then anything….Sanam is simply outstanding and doing great act…Infact she is lifeline of the drama..Thanks Fatima…for amazing review….. Cant wait for the next Episode

    • FatimaAwan

      I am glad, we are on the same page:) Yes, Sanam acted very well in this latest episode and I really like the way Fahad Mustafa is portraying his character. Thank you so much for following the reviews and for giving your feedback.

  • Rashid Nazir Ali

    excellent review, the drama is mainly themed on short story “wohi dil ke thehar janay ka mausam” with many additional characters and changes in actual story, but the main subject of that short story, is essence of element of respect and dignity in a relation, and if this element is missing materialistic things like car, bungalow, bank balance is perhaps meaningless.

    After almost ten episodes, now the actual story of “wohi dil ke thehar janay ka mausam” has started from 11th episode.

    • FatimaAwan

      Thank you for liking the review Rashid Nazir Ali. I hope the story progresses at a rapid pace now and the focus does not shift from the central characters.

  • Abiha

    Excellent reviews, Sanam Balouch is an amazing actress, i just love her expressions in today’s episode, flawless.

    • FatimaAwan

      Hello Abiha, good to have you on board. So good to know that you liked the review. Totally agree with you Sanam Baloch is an outstanding actress.

  • Aysha

    Fatima, I havent read your reviews in a while. If u recall, we had some long discussiosns about drama dure shewar where u were in favor of that girl accepting every ziadti to “save” her marriage. Honestly, i am surprised to read this review where u are talking against domestic abuse. If u read drama kankar’s comments…90% of women on the forum are blaming kiran. According to them, kiran argued with her husband and he got upset which led to physical violence, and had she not argued, it wouldnt have happend….one lady even refered to dur-e-shewars fathers dialogue (from drama dureshewar) that ” aurat hee gher banati hay”. According to her, drama dur -e- shewar was a lesson for girls like kiran who dont know how to save their marriage. Anyways, when i read those comments, i am thinking that if women in pakistan are saying that they should accpet domestic abuse to “save” their marriage, who is going to raise voice against it???

    • FatimaAwan

      Hi Aysha, long time no see. yes, I remember our discussions quite clearly and I stand by what I said back then. I believe that Shehwar and Shandana’s situations were very different from Kiran’s. Shehwar and Mansoor had a big communication gap in the early years of marriage and Mansoor failed to maintain a balance between his mother and wife but he soon realized where he was going wrong and gave his wife the love and respect she deserved. He never hit his wife or say things to belittle her or her family. Sikandar, on the other hand is a control freak who has no respect for his wife. Yes, a woman has the power to make or break a house and if she has to compromise to make her marriage work it is worth it but she does not have to put up with abuse in order to do so. There are things you compromise on and there are things that are not that easy to forget. I think, compromising in difficult situations does not take away anyone’s dignity but putting up with a situation where your husband fails to give you respect is rather difficult. I hope that this play will be able to change the mentality of those who believe that Kiran deserved to be hit. That really is sad that people feel that way. Wives have just as much of a right to express their opinion as the husbands and they should not be abused if they do so. Also, a person who hits his wife once is bound to do it again.

      • zam zam

        i agree fatima awan

      • Zahra Mirza

        I agree to Fatima, I know Ayesha is just quoting the comments she came across & I am also putting forward my opinion. I do not intend to offend anyone, just for the sake of a discussion I am saying that ‘ghar banana’ doesn’t mean a girl has to put up with every single thing her husband exposes her to. It just doesn’t mean that if a girl has to save her marriage she has to compromise on her respect & dignity as well.

        Any sane couple would compromise on their own paths as marriage works that way but before blaming Kiran I think Shahista is to be blamed. She listened to her cunning sis & her daughter & later maligned Sikandar towards Kiran, which made him furious & he got mentally handicapped while dealing with his wife. I don’t think Kiran; in any way was being rude or argued with Sikandar, in stead she just tried to make him understand that it wasn’t such a huge issue which he thought it was.

        & if he had zero tolerance level, he should’ve told Kiran about how he expects her to act & stay with him as his wife. Why create double standards for his wife where at first he is making her independent by buying her a car to show off & later when she just goes to her mother, she is being treated like a puppet who has no right to even visiting her family on her own. Sad!

        • FatimaAwan

          Zahra thank you so much for sharing your opinion. I don’t blame Shaista at all because we always blame women, sometimes men should take complete responsibility for their actions too. Shaista also did everything in her power to ensure that Sikandar never got married to Kiran but Sikandar did not listen to her at all, so why listen to her now? i don’t think Sikandar is the sort of person who can be talked into doing anything, he is very strong headed individual and does what he wants to do out of his own free will. He is one of those husbands who think they own a woman once they marry them; that I think is the main issue here.

          • Zahra Mirza

            Yeah, Sikandar is the one who needs to fix himself but talking about Shahista, I only mentioned her because she someone contributed in disturbing their relationship. She should make her mind once & for all, she was all negative about Kiran but felt good after she took care of her, then again she got angry with her but felt bad once again when she got to know Kiran was hit by Sikandar.

            Shahista needs to understand how she has to accept Kiran & if she does, she can not switch her evil modes as she sights the mood. HEHE!

    • beenish

      ayesha i read ur comment n i agree that if a women in pakistan r saying tht they sud accept domestic abuse to save her marriage then who is going to raise voice against domestic abuse n violence??then there is no point to raise voice against all these domestic abuse.thats the pesimisstic side of our society..

      • Aysha

        Thanks beenish…there is still hope as long as we have women like u in pakistan

        • beenish

          Ur welcome

    • MeMyself

      I was thinking the same thing as you Aysha. I personally feel that women have more patience and the capacity to give and sacrifice. However, that does not mean she should tolerate abuse. Mansoor did not have time for Shehwar but he was respectful towards her and her parents. He had too many expectations from Shehwar (but we find out later that he expected the same from her sisters as well). There was abandonment, but not out of spite. Also Mansoor’s mom was an instigator in many ways.

      • Aysha

        thanks

  • Sara

    Sanam is such an outstanding actress! Her expressions in this episode were right on point. This had to be one of those bittersweet episodes – loved the fact that there were no scenes of Rukhsar & Arzoo, but it was also very emotional. Totally felt for Kiran! I am surprised at the amount of women that are in support of Sikander hitting Kiran.on the main page. How can these women support domestic violence? Are these women forgetting that hitting only causes more problems?! There are many ways to get your point across, and hitting is DEFINITELY not one of them. Imagine your mom, sister, daughter getting hit by their significant other. Would they still support them?!

    The fact that Sikander is educated and comes from a “classy” family, clearly doesn’t mean anything because he still has that mentality of a typical uneducated, non-classy, chauvinistic man.

    Another thing that bothered me was Sikander’s mom getting involved in her son’s marriage problems. I understand she went through the same thing as Kiran, and if she was so concerned, she would have respected their privacy and waited patiently until the time was right or until either one of them spoke up about the issue. She had no right to go up to her son and confront him, does this woman not understand that it will only create MORE problems for them in the future! Especially since her son is so controlling and has his own insecurities. This is partially why I am so against living with your in-laws. Sikander’s mom is quite annoying, and not very intelligent either.

    For women that accept domestic violence and think its a way of respecting your husband – you need to wake up and educate yourself. I know its easier said than done, but hitting/slapping is totally unacceptable behaviour.

  • Zahra Mirza

    Thanks a lot for putting words to what I felt while watching the episode. I feel Shahista had acted her guilt which she felt for Kiran way too nicely. She could relate to her daughter-in-law in such a way which Kiran could never imagine. Even though she tried to help her by giving her a piece of advice but she just can’t come to words with how she has gone through everything similar.

    Even I thought to myself & while in a discussion I spoke to my sister that how can Kiran’s mother not see the missing spark in the newly wed Kiran & the Kiran that came & cried just now? Hate SIkandar for what he has put Kiran through, how can he think it was his ‘right’ to do that? Sad!

    • FatimaAwan

      Yes Zahra Shaista could most certainly relate to what was happening with Kiran and a part of her felt for her too but at the same time she can’t help playing the “saas’ lol. Shaista does not come across as a nice person at all.

      Great to have you on board Zahra, it is always good to hear from you:)

      • Zahra Mirza

        Thanks a lot Fatima. 🙂 I know, but I feel Shahista is one of those who sways her emotions with what people tell her. She did grow close to Kiran once she saw her taking care of her when Shahista fell sick, but then she quickly let her sister’s gibberish cloud her feelings towards Kiran. She may be nice but she can’t help siding with her sister & niece.

        • FatimaAwan

          Zahra totally agree with you. i think she feels guilty when she is being nice to Kiran because she thinks siding with her means going against her sister – silly politics!

  • beenish

    unfourtunatley in our society mostly people blame wife for making her married life hell n always force wife to do compromise.thats the bitter reality husband never cares about her wife’s respect n dignity he always thought that he has a right to hit her wife if she is on a right point.”ghar bachana” hmesha akeli wife k uper ni hota husband ka b utna he faraz hota ha.apni dignity n respect bhool kr ghar bachana he ha tu phr itna parhne ka kya faieda jo ek unparh aurat ka hal ha woi ek well educated k b ha..

    • FatimaAwan

      You are right Beenish, we expect women to put in more effort into make marriages work than men and that is okay as long as the man they are married to are worth it. They give the woman respect and do not sideline her altogether. There are situations when it is alright for a woman to go the extra mile to make a marriage work but there are others when one really wishes that girls like Kiran really did have other alternatives than keeping on living with an abusive husband.

  • Silver Eyes

    Great review fatima.. n i agree with your comments as well… compromising with these kind of husbands is disgusting… Kiran apni jaga bilkul thek kar rahi hai… on the very first day sikander ko bta daina chahie tha k wat type of wife he wants…. pehle sar be bithana n then insulting like this .. ridiculous !! And still thinking that he is right… thapar marna biwi ko is not a big thing for him… !! Jo cheez shaid asani se mil jai uski insaan ko kadar nahi rhti… !!

    • FatimaAwan

      Silver Eyes, you are so right about Sikandar’s attitude. It is great to have you on board, I hope we will be hearing from you more often now:)

  • farheen

    no words for sanam’s acting……she is miss perfectionist…..:D
    nice review by the way…….women plzzzzzzzz WAKE UP..!! u have the right to be respected..

  • MeMyself

    Wow Sanam really blew me away today. Her every thought was conveyed by her expressions! I think Sikander tried very hard to make up with Kiran but it was just short of admitting that he should have hit Kiran. This is probably why she cannot just forgive him and “move on”. Once you allow the abuser (man or woman) to think that abuse is OK, you open the door to future domestic abuse. I cannot believe Sikander’s mom, having suffered the pain of abuse, didn’t tell Sikander to stop!! She should have stepped up and stopped the cycle of abuse. I am sure if Aarzoo was Sikander’s wife and if he hit Aarzo, Sikanders mom and khala would go crazy! Argue, disagree but do not engage in physical abuse! I am really happy that women of Pakistan are being exposed to these topics now. Even if one girl watches this drama and decides that she values her dignity and self-worth more than preserving the patriarchal status quo then Umera Ahmad has done a great job.

    • FatimaAwan

      Totally agree with you MeMyself. Thank you so much for sharing your opinion here, I hope we will be seeing you here more often.

  • Aysha

    Fatima, there is another important point which I already have mentioned on the darma forum. Unfortunately , men like sikandar think that they can get the respect from wife by force. They dont understand that if a woman stays quite out of “fear”, it does not mean she respects him. Its fear, not respect. They actually LOOSE the respect by behaving the way sikandar is. Respect is always “earrned” through ones behavior. Where there is fear, there is no love. How can a woman truly love her husband from her heart if she is fearful of him? Also, I think at the end of the day, men like sikandar are the ones who are loosers, and u know why? becuase they are always drprived of a true love of a woman. Dont u think in this drama sikandar is depriving himself from true love of a beautiful/young/loyal and intelligent girl (kiran)??? May be she will live with sikandar for the rest of her life becuase she has no other option, but it does not mean she will truly love him. And thats what men like sikandar need to understand.

    • FatimaAwan

      Spot on Aysha, I totally agree with you. I think men like Sikandar are cowards, they think they own the woman they have gotten married to and do not treat them like living and breathing human beings but like objects. Also, the mentality that gifts and money can make everything alright is so so wrong. He is obviously not willing to work on his marriage but he just expects everything to be the way he likes it.

  • Nawaz Khan

    I have watched drams of many countries such as American, Spanish, Italian, Syrian & Egyptian. According to me Syrian Dramas are the best & only Pakistani Dramas can match their acting & story writing quality