Kankar Episode 13 – Sweet Lies

What is more important? Love or respect? Normally one cannot imagine a relationship in which two people are in love but fail to give each other the respect that should come automatically. But it is also true that there are many times when a person loves another but cannot respect other person’s individuality. Respecting your spouse’s individuality is just as important as loving them because love alone can sometimes be very egocentric; you may want the person you love to do exactly what you want and that is when you fail to see them as an individual and do not give them the space they need. That is exactly the problem with Sikandar, although he thinks that Kiran has a big ego but the fact is this that he is the one who wants to control Kiran because he “loves” her – what a twisted logic but it makes perfect sense.

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The sweet lie Kiran told her father to assure him that she had a perfect life because she knew that he could not handle the truth was heart wrenching. She also tells Sikandar that she wanted him to attend her sister’s wedding although if she had a choice she would stay away from the man who claims to love her but does not respect her for longer. Despite of all her majburis the conversation Kiran had with Sikandar was very honest. The exchange of messages between Sikandar and Kiran and the conversation they had later was absolutely perfect. It is good to see a girl on screen who can take a stand for herself’ she is willing to give her husband a second chance but she is not going to put up with a lifetime of abuse to please her family or to stay in the marriage.

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The scene in the class where the professor and the students applaud Kiran for doing extraordinarily well in the assignment was very meaningful; it yet again went to prove that appearances are deceptive. No one knew the bitter secret behind Kiran’s success!

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Rukhsar’s behavior towards her mother in law went to show that she has completely given up on her fiancé’s family. Her conversation with her colleague later showed how bitter and selfish she has become over the years and also she has started questioning whether getting married in her late 30s was something to look forward to.

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The way Shaista dealt with the issue between Kiran and Sikandar was very disappointing but at the same time very believable too. She may have gone through the same mental torture that Kiran is going through but instead of protecting Kiran, she expects her to put up with it all because she had to put up with her husband’s abusive behavior so why should Kiran be any different? Apart from that Shaista also seems to be very convinced that Kiran should pay some kind of a price for being married into such a rich family. It is not just Kiran’s husband who does not respect her but she will never be able to make a place in her mother in law’s heart as well because she doesn’t have a rich background.

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Waqar’s lecture on how things were between Sikandar and Kiran was a very good addition and another realistic aspect of Waqar’s personality. I have to say that all the characters in Kankar have been very well etched out and the drama is only getting better.

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All the actors performed very well in today’s episode and some of the dialogues were very thought provoking. Umera Ahmed has raised a very important issue; women do not have to put up with abuse in the name of love or for financial security. They have the right to be respected and they do not need to be apologetic for expressing their opinions.

 

I am definitely looking forward to the next episode.

 

Fatima Awan

 

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  • sarah

    Great review. I feel so sad about Kiran. She’s alone. She can’t share problems with someone. She did with mother in law but she take it wrong way and how sikandar mother telling kiran mother wrong things about Kiran. Poor kiran.

  • zara

    fatima plz review Aseer Zaddi…it is awesome..

    • fareen

      I am enjoying the drama but I feel in looking at the current episode and issues raised you have to go back to beginning and realise that when there is major class difference and the son has defied his parents to marry their will always be problems and they will never fully accept the marriage. Especially regarding the class difference agar ameer ghar ki beti jawab deti mother in law wouldn’t have too much issue but if poor background bahu does same its totally unacceptable for her. its just double standards of our society. I love the fact that kiran took a stand against sikander good to see this as domestic violence can never be excused or tolerated!
      another point for me is that in looking at next weeks promo if the susraal walay r buray then how buray are parents who also tell their daughters that sab kuch bardassht karo warna hamaari bezati ho gi??

    • FatimaAwan

      Zara, I am reviewing Numm on Saturdays. Are you watching it?

      • zara

        yes im watching it but aseer zadi is more interesting 🙂

  • Rashid Nazir Ali

    nice review Fatima, finally the focus has shifted to the actual story of “wohi dil ke thehar janay ka mausam”. In this episode Kiran has tried all options in her susral to avoid any further insult, but she will not find any support from her own family (apart from father) on this as well, who will advise her to show patience.

    rightly pointed, this episode has some simple and thought provoking dialog, the SMS of sikandar in which he asks “tum kankar ko pathar bana rahi ho” (something like you are making a small issue a big issue) reflects contrast of mentality of sikandar and kiran, what is a minor issue for sikandar is a major worry for kiran.

  • Amir Butt

    @ Fatima…Loved your review as well as as todays episode it was indeed amazing. I am loving the way Sanam is portraying the Role. i agree with you Respect is very important Because Jo mard app ki izzat nahi karta woh muhabbat kabhi nahi kar sakta chahay zubaan say jo marzi kahay!!! Eik aurat ko izzat ki jitni chah aur hirs hoti hai woh kisi bhi toofani muhabbat say kahin ziada hai
    Cant wait for the next episode

    • DM

      Nice to hear positive views from men too!

  • Soni

    I’m sorry but I do not agree with your review. The characters in this play are flawed and their actions defy logic. First let’s take Sikander, he is supposed to be this well educated, sophisticated individual who represents today’s youth but he acts like a possessive lover and a control freak!
    His mother’s character also does not make any sense. I agree that she loves her only son and wants him to be happy, but I blame her for not teaching him to respect women after what she went through herself. A woman like her should support her daughter-in-law, instead she is telling everyone that her son hits his wife with great pride!
    Sikander’s father is also a conflicted man. I had great respect for him until I saw that last episode where he is shown as an abuser. When a man raises his hand on his wife in anger, he does not suddenly change into this nice person. Statistics show that men who abuse get more and more violent with time and if they have a partner that submits to them, then it’s very rare that they will change their habits.
    I will continue to watch this drama since I like Sanam Baloch and the direction is praise worthy but after seeing next week’s promo, I feel it is getting quite repetitive.

    • Zahra Mirza

      Well I must say, even though I find everything fine about the drama, I am impressed & for sure agree to your analysis & thoughts about just the characters themselves. I agree that where Sikandar is projected as such a perfect, presentable, literate person, how can he be so irrational? But then the worldly degree’s doesn’t help you build your nature. That comes from within & as Shahista’s saas said ‘ye ghar k mard aisay hain’ I feel that runs in his blood.

      & then again I agree to your point that where was Shahista busy all these years that she couldn’t teach her ONLY child the basics of enlightenment. & yes Shahista’s character comes off as someone who’s confused. She wants to love Kiran but she can’t, she hates what Sikandar did but then she can’t tell him what he did was wrong.

    • Hasan Umar

      I disagree with some of your points specially one you made about Sikandar.You said that he seemed to be well educated,sophisticated man and then we saw him as a control freak.(This means you think that this is quite unreal right?)
      I know few very learned man.I know a professor in a very famous University who did his PhD from US his wife took divorce from him because he used to hit her.
      One of my own Professor(Female) was a victim of domestic abuse and her ex-husband was a highly educated man.

      • Aysha

        Violence is in nature of men, thats why u see 94% men in prisions, as compare to 6% women(even in west where both men and women face the outside world equally). But both the women you refered to in your comments, got divorce and refused to be abused by their husbands. Thats the difference between an educated/financialy independent woman and a woman who can not survive on her own.

  • Nina

    Soni, what you’re saying ‘SHOULD’ happen, but doesn’t actually happen in real life. This drama is closer to reality in some ways and farther away in others.
    For example, SIkander is highly educated, rich and all, but deep down lies a completely different personality. Hitting women happens behind closed doors in ‘well-respected and rich’ families.
    Second, Saas should’ve been nicer and protective of bahu. But again, stats tell us that people who through abuse tend to be abusers themselves!

    • aisha rehman

      agar aurat shaadi k shuru mein thora sa compromise kr lay to baqi zindage wo sakun se guzaar sakti hai.. aur kiran mein sabar aur brdasht bilkul nhe hai… and sikander short tempered hai, ghalti donon ki he hain but koi apni ghalti acept krny ko tyyar nahe hai.. although sikander ne apni ghalti accept kr k maafi mang li the jb k kiran is stubborn and not accepting her mistake.. koi itni choti baton pe ghar chor kr aa jaye to usay bewaquf he keh sktay hain.. aur is dramay mein sikander k character ko zbardasti ghalat kr k dikhaya ja rha hay halanke wo apni jgah pe sahee hai..

  • Guest

    I humbly disagree with some of your analysis, although in no way am I defending Sikandar’s actions. Your analysis is not impartial, there is a leaning towards Kiran’s character because you are a woman but you have refused to look at the positives of Sikandar.

    The fact is that Kiran should have kept things to herself, Sikandar was right. I reiterate that Sikandar was wrong, one must never hit a woman, NEVER, but Kiran has been immature and has not handled the situation wisely – you DO NOT wash your dirty linen in public. Kiran was getting sympathy and love from her mother in law in the last episode and now she has ruined it. Yes, Kiran says she was ‘pareshan’ but that is no reason to discuss your personal matters with anyone – including her mother in law. Kiran has underestimated the situation she is in. Instead of talking to Sikandar and sorting out their problems between themselves she has decided to ignore him and treat him very badly. Sikandar is not a control freak, he expects his wife to listen but his wife chooses confrontation if you can remember from the last episode. She is a new bride in a new home, her mother rightly says ke tumhe bardasht karna hoga. Patience is the key for a lady going in to a new home, you don’t throw tantrums, ignore your husband and threaten to walk out on him after only a few months even though he only hit you once – that’s not how marriages function, I’m afraid. Secondly, I doubt Kiran has developed love for Sikandar and he makes a point of reminding her. I don’t care who it is, NO woman would love a man and then threaten to walk out on him after a few months – it doesn’t work like that in our culture, maybe in the west it’s workable but that’s NOT us. I think an objective analysis MUST take these intricate details into account, Fatima.

    This is a GREAT serial, there is no other word to describe it. There is still more to come and we will see if Kiran is REALLY the wronged party in all this. The fact is, by discussing ‘bedroom issues’, Kiran has inadvertently opened herself up to criticism and as we see from the promos of the next episode, the news will spread like wildfire.. Uh-oh…

    The bottom line : Sikandar & Kiran could have sorted their problems out THEMSELVES, but now because Kiran ‘accidentally’ spoke out, inevitably other people will have fun back biting, making trouble AND eventually with their interference these very people will destroy Sikandar & Kiran’s home and any chance for future happiness together – no prizes for guessing who the perpetrators will be 😉 What a shame. They looked so happy. Who does Kiran think she is, her husband’s respect will suffer in the eyes of other people with her irreversible mistake- is that right ? One more thing, Kiran was spoilt by Sikandar, there is no doubt about that and any loving and doting husband would do that but I think this may have got to her head… women react in different ways. For Kiran to tell Sikandar she will walk out on him if he raises his hand again and that her love is not eternal, was BANG out of order. No woman in true love with her husband would say that because for a woman to walk out on her husband is a really bad thing to do… I don’t care whether you live in 2013 or 1960, the principles, morals and scruples remain the same.

    A fantastic drama highlighting the issues of nowadays where theree is not patience, resolve or steadfastness in marriage to make it work and negotiate one’s way thorough the pains. This marriage is going through the ‘teething’ process, it will get better if Kiran allows it too and does not let others get involved. Sikandar didn’t complain once to anyone else, he tried to deal with it in his way and KNOWS he did the wrong thing, apologised and said it would never happen again. Kiran says she will walk out but when a woman makes that decision and ‘walks’, 8 out of 10 time she regrets it painfully. Let’s see. What’s the option : stay put, make your marriage work and get your mother in law on your side like she was.. she is the ‘key’, Sikandar is close to his mum and will eventually fall in line but not if Kiran chooses to opt for confrontation. Sikandar is very possessive about Kiran, worships the ground she walks on and Kiran should have asked for his permission when she left his home to visit her parents. Sikandar was wrongt to over-react. In this kind of situation, it takes one to make peace, it takes to make war. Kiran should know what she ought to have done. Agar Sikandar may sabr nahin, that MUST be provided by Kiran in such a situation, that;s how couples sort out their problems and in the future, the roles may be reversed – isi ka naam shaadi aur garhastee hota hai.

    • Rabia

      Totally Agree!!!

    • Naheed

      ONLY HIT YOU ONCE !! U SAID IT ALL IN ONE LINE..WHAT A SHAME

      • A A

        Wat do u think she wait till next hit then react ten men feel how she ignore first one she will ignore this also then it start again and again dear girl should worn at first time its more right

        • Naheed

          Aroona ,u might got me wrong. i was taunting/sarcastically saying it to the person ” guest’ who posted an essay rather than a comment. The only thing he/she meant in a nutshell was ” its ok to hit”.and i strongly condemn it .

    • Guest 40

      Wah bhai kia coment likha taqreeban wesa jesa mein nnnnnne socha tha

    • MeMyself

      Although I don’t think Kiran should have discussed her personal problems with her saas (because the saas never accepted Kiran), it must be noted that Kiran never brought up her problems to her family or anybody else. She is not airing her dirty laundry at all. Sikander’s mother is the advertising to her sister, husband and Kiran’s mom that Sikander and Kiran had an argument.

  • Aliyaan

    I humbly disagree with some of your analysis, although in no way am I defending Sikandar’s actions. Your analysis is not impartial, there is a leaning towards Kiran’s character because you are a woman but you have refused to look at the positives of Sikandar.

    The fact is that Kiran should have kept things to herself, Sikandar was right. I reiterate that Sikandar was wrong, one must never hit a woman, NEVER, but Kiran has been immature and has not handled the situation wisely – you DO NOT wash your dirty linen in public. Kiran was getting sympathy and love from her mother in law in the last episode and now she has ruined it. Yes, Kiran says she was ‘pareshan’ but that is no reason to discuss your personal matters with anyone – including her mother in law. Kiran has underestimated the situation she is in. Instead of talking to Sikandar and sorting out their problems between themselves she has decided to ignore him and treat him very badly. Sikandar is not a control freak, he expects his wife to listen but his wife chooses confrontation if you can remember from the last episode. She is a new bride in a new home, her mother rightly says ke tumhe bardasht karna hoga. Patience is the key for a lady going in to a new home, you don’t throw tantrums, ignore your husband and threaten to walk out on him after only a few months even though he only hit you once – that’s not how marriages function, I’m afraid. Secondly, I doubt Kiran has developed love for Sikandar and he makes a point of reminding her. I don’t care who it is, NO woman would love a man and then threaten to walk out on him after a few months – it doesn’t work like that in our culture, maybe in the west it’s workable but that’s NOT us. I think an objective analysis MUST take these intricate details into account, Fatima.

    This is a GREAT serial, there is no other word to describe it. There is still more to come and we will see if Kiran is REALLY the wronged party in all this. The fact is, by discussing ‘bedroom issues’, Kiran has inadvertently opened herself up to criticism and as we see from the promos of the next episode, the news will spread like wildfire.. Uh-oh…

    The bottom line : Sikandar & Kiran could have sorted their problems out THEMSELVES, but now because Kiran ‘accidentally’ spoke out, inevitably other people will have fun back biting, making trouble AND eventually with their interference these very people will destroy Sikandar & Kiran’s home and any chance for future happiness together – no prizes for guessing who the perpetrators will be 😉 What a shame. They looked so happy. Who does Kiran think she is, her husband’s respect will suffer in the eyes of other people with her irreversible mistake- is that right ? One more thing, Kiran was spoilt by Sikandar, there is no doubt about that and any loving and doting husband would do that but I think this may have got to her head… women react in different ways. For Kiran to tell Sikandar she will walk out on him if he raises his hand again and that her love is not eternal, was BANG out of order. No woman in true love with her husband would say that because for a woman to walk out on her husband is a really bad thing to do… I don’t care whether you live in 2013 or 1960, the principles, morals and scruples remain the same.

    A fantastic drama highlighting the issues of nowadays where theree is not patience, resolve or steadfastness in marriage to make it work and negotiate one’s way thorough the pains. This marriage is going through the ‘teething’ process, it will get better if Kiran allows it too and does not let others get involved. Sikandar didn’t complain once to anyone else, he tried to deal with it in his way and KNOWS he did the wrong thing, apologised and said it would never happen again. Kiran says she will walk out but when a woman makes that decision and ‘walks’, 8 out of 10 time she regrets it painfully. Let’s see. What’s the option : stay put, make your marriage work and get your mother in law on your side like she was.. she is the ‘key’, Sikandar is close to his mum and will eventually fall in line but not if Kiran chooses to opt for confrontation. Sikandar is very possessive about Kiran, worships the ground she walks on and Kiran should have asked for his permission when she left his home to visit her parents. Sikandar was wrongt to over-react. In this kind of situation, it takes ONE to make peace, it takes TWO to make war. Kiran should know better what she ought to have done. Agar Sikandar may sabr nahin, that MUST be provided by Kiran in such a situation, that;s how couples sort out their problems and in the future, the roles may be reversed – isi ka naam shaadi aur garhastee hota hai.

    • aisha rehman

      i think saari ghalti kiran ki he hai, koi bhe mard chahy kitna he broad minded ya well educated kiun na ho, apnay samnay aik zbaan draaz aur naa frmaan aurat ko brdasht nhe krta, halanke main khud larki hun, but mujhe ghalti kiran ki he dekhaai deti hai,,, aur shohar ki naa frmaani koi minor issue nhe hai, inhe choti choti baton se relationship per buht gehray asraat hoty hain, aur kiran ko chahye k agar woh apni respect krwana chahti hai to apnay husband ki bhe respect kia kray.. ghar bnaana aur bigaarna sirf aurat k hath mein hota hai, is dramay mein kiran ko positive dekha kr buht ghalat kia gya hai… aisay immature rwayyion k sath ghar nhe bsaa krtay :/

      • Aysha

        Jis gher main physical/mental abuse ho, us ko aap gher kheti hain??? Aisay gher ka faida kia??? any human being with some self respect or self worth will refuse to tolrate abuse. But unfortunately, women in our culture are taught from their childhood that they are worthless and all they need to do is tolrate so they dont come back to parents house.
        I am astonished that in this drama a woman is raising her voice agaisnt physical abuse and women like u are getting upset that why is she doing so??? husband and wife relationship is not master/slave relationship miss aisha rehman.

        • A A

          Well said

        • aisha rehman

          agar kiran ki saas yeh sb brdasht kr sakti hai to kiran ko bhe krna chahiye.. kiran koi aasman se utri hui makhlooq nahe hai k saray haqooq usi k hon…usay apnay farz ada krnay chahiyen, agar wo apnay husband ko moqqa na deti to nobat yahan tk na puhanchti..ghar bnana aur bigarna sirf aurat k hath mein hota hai.. i recomment u to watch tv serial “Durr e shehwar” in which how a girl had compromised so much to avoid these things..

          • Aysha

            So, as you said ” ager kiran kee saas sub bardasht ker sakti hay to kiran kyuon naheen ker sakti”, let me ask u this, if girls could be burried alive 1400 years ago, why cant they be burried alive today??? Ager kisi aurat kee family main auratuon ko abuse kia jata hay aur un ko ko mara peeta jata hay, to aap yey kahain gee kay us aurat ko bhee abuse/maar peet bardasht kerni chayey??? Are u saying that since women have been tolrating zulm for ages, women of today should also tolrate zulm and should not raise voice against any abuse??? World have changed miss rehman, come out of the caveman era

          • aisha rehman

            aik aurat k behaviour mein tahammul aur brdasht honi chahiye.. sirf aik bar hath uthanay per kiran ne exaggeration se kaam liya tha .. agar us ne hath uthaya tha to majbur ho kr he uthaya tha..secondly wo kiran se muhabbat bhe to krta hai.. agar kiran bhe us se dil se sachi muhabbat krti to kbhe bhe is trah na krti.. jis se muhabbat ki jati hai.. uski to hr bat insan hans kr brdasht kr leta hai..aur uski ghalatyon ko nzar andaz krta hai na k sari dunya k samnay tmasha bnaye.. but its so confusing i think kiran do not love her husband anyway

          • Aysha

            miss rehman, aik taraf aap khe rahi hain kay sikandar kiran say muhabbat kerta hay, doosri taraf aap khe rahi hain kay ” jis say muhabat kee jati hay, uski her baat insaan hans ker bardasht ker laita hay, aur us kee galtyon ko nazer andaz kerta hay”.
            So my question to u is that, why doesnt sikandar do all that if he really loves kiran???

  • Zahra Mirza

    I feel Sikandar is just a “conditional lover”. If everything goes according to his plan & wish, he is the best & loves someone with all his might, but when he doesn’t get what he wants, the beast in him unleashes.

    I think the conversations & especially the SMS chat was intense & real. I love Kiran’s honesty plus to me her analogy of love is right. When Sikandar can be such a “conditional lover”, Kiran has a right to put forward her conditions too otherwise like she mentioned, the love might fade away. & this is nothing new which people might think that Kiran said something that aliens in their native lands say. It does happen when your dignity or you yourself are put through some test because of someone else, your feelings change.

    From my side, the one line which sums up the whole scenario & the point of the novel is ‘appko sab kuch nahi milta’. She walked into a completely different life with Sikandar but then she has to & must make some sacrifices. By saying this, I do not mean she should put up with the domestic violence but now when she has gone through it once, she should be able to read Sikandar that he likes his conditions to be fulfilled. Even though she made her point clear to him & has a will power to stand by what she said, Kiran on her own should take care of never letting things slip. & Sikandar on his own should mend his nature in order for this relation to work out.

    I know Shahista sounded rigid when it came to Kiran & her feelings but then she must be the one who’d have to rely on her husband for any sort of security, she takes Kiran as that too, seeing her family background. Therefore, Shahista thinks Kiran will not let go of this marriage & if she wants this to happen, she should compromise. The main point is all about the compromises one has to make. Drama is for sure getting interesting, I was always keen on watching it but wish I could’ve started off with episode 01 but I think I got hold of everything at the right time so missing a few episodes didn’t spoil much for me.

    I actually felt bad for Rukhsaar & even before her scene with her friend I said to my sis ‘ye shadi kar bhi legi to isay kya milega?’ Obviously she wants to get married but then even when she is not in some official/documented relation with the in laws, she has to put up with so much disgrace, so what will change for him even if she gets married to a wuss? Sadly, nothing.

    • guest

      sikandar is a “conditional lover ” but it’s also true that he can’t live without her . kiran didn’t love him it was he who liked her and later on showed his inerest to marry her. if he claimed that he loved her he must prove that. kiran is now his wife so she shouldn’t talked him like that. when he said ‘Tum se shadi mri zindagi ki galti thi’ we see kiran reacted like a rhetoric and answer him back that was ‘ meri b’
      they are both having flaws in their characters. kiran is trying to stand for her honour without making any compromise for their marriage and sikandar is acting like a hypocrite. on one side he has given her freedom and luxury,on the other side he reminds her of her lower social status and classlessness that is painful for kiran’s individuality. if they will recognise their follies soon that will b fine and happy…… otherwise they will avoid their flaws rest of the life.

      • Zahra Mirza

        Yes, it was Sikandar who approached her so why make her life miserable now. I think they both need to get flexible if they want their wedding to survive.

      • Naheed

        he cant live without some one if he cant own them..so he can hit her when he feels like.. love her when he feels like.etc etc.. wife come puppet i would say …is there a way wives can be manufactured in factories.??. so u can buy one u like..robot kind of.. problem solved isnt it..?

        • Ruhi Khan

          Nobody has the right to hit his wife no matter what? Such men are animals and have been seeing these things happening in their homes since chilhood and have been brought up with the idea that its okay to hit women specially the wifes.They are cowards and suffer from many complexes. But project most of the time in society as very kind and civilized human beings. They are extremely polite to their bosses and collegues painting a false picture and usually the victim is made to appear like an oppressor .But Only Allah and the suffrer knows their true colours.Such men should realize that how would they feel if same happened to their daughters and sisters!!.Will they allow their husbands to beat them till she gets a blue eye?.We should teach our daugters to never tolerate domestic abuse and our sons to respect women let be a wife, mother or the sister or any woman on the road.

  • Zarnab

    I had all my symphoty with Kiran before but I was just just thinking about it and my opinion has somewhat changed.I know what Sikander did was wrong and he made a big issue out of a small thing but I think he was right at his part too, a married Pakistani woman needs to tell her husband and then leave the home doesn’t matter even if she goes to her parent’s place, I know it sounds unfair but thats the bitter truth of our society. Her anger and the way she ignored Sikander made sense but I think it wasn’t necessary to share this issue with Shahista instead she should have idolized Shahista and make things work out the way Shahista did with Jamal.Secondly, it didnt make sense to me AT ALL how she so easily talked about her divorce without realizing that she isn’t financially strong or that educated that she can be independent, she hasn’t even graduated yet and even after knowing the financial status of her family she talked about her divorce so easily even educated and financially strong women think 1000 times before even bringing the topic of divorce up.This just shows Kiran is stupid and she doesn’t know how to compromise, compromise is another word for Shadi and to make a shadi work out, you need to compromise a lot!
    I’m not supporting Sikander at all but that’s how most men are and especially when rich men marry poor women they think they have the right to put all types of restrictions on their wife and that’s how Sikander is.I know that’s very wrong but Kiran could have sat in her room with Sikander and should have solved the issue and secondly when Sikander said he won’t do this all over again she shouldn’t have talked about it with Shahista, if he physically abused her again she should have then gone and tell her about it.That’s my opinion.

    • pretty

      i read everyone’s reviews and everyone is talking that compromise is important in shadi. if this is really what u people mean then i think shikandar should also have compromised when kiran went to her parents house..os nay be to baat barhaye te but none of u people talked about shikandar action instead u think kiran should have compromised. shikandar and his family think of her as gareeb larki and think they have done some favor to her by marrying her in their family,,what kind of ideology is that..i think it wasn’t kiran fault.if someone cant respect u it doesn’t matter whether u r poor or rich he doesn’t deserve u. i think shikandar is a freak who think he loves kiran and adore her but actually he just adore having her like some prize bond. if i was kiran i would have asked shikandar what he would feel if i slap him and then tell him that i love him alot.. our society has very double standards when it comes to women rightss.

      • Zarnab

        I didn’t support Sikander but that’s the bitter truth, we live in a society where only women are expected to compromise and men are dominant that’s why even in this drama Sikander, Sikander’s mum and even Kiran’s mum expect Kiran to compromise!Please keep in mind humari society ek talaq hui ve aurat pai ungli uthatai hai ek talak hu ai wai mard pai nahi! Secondly rich divorced men finds a second wife really easily but a divorced middle class women doesn’t but this is just a drama so they will definitely show Kiran getting to Adnan but these things don’t happen in reality.

        • pretty

          i think miss zarnab the only reason men think of them self as dominant is because of people like us.u and me. we believe that women has to compromise no matter what situation is.. even when husband doesn’t respect her then u r absolutely rite we have no right to blame sikhandar or any other men for his actions as we think that thapar mar liya to kaya ho gaya ye to hota he hai shadi mein.. no yr ye shadi mein nai hota.. shadi is an eternal bond between two people.. bond of love and respect. agar itna short temper hai husband to apnay boss pay ya kise aur pay haath othaye na..why his wife??? just because she is his better half and he has right on her.. if anyone think this is compromise i think they r deceiving herself.. this dominance is created by us not our religion. these r exactly the situations in which islam has given equal rights to women that she is not a servant or maid whom u can treat as u wish.. she can speak for her rights..

          • Aysha

            i agree with you maria. Men are dominant in our society because women allow that . Thing are diffrent in west becuase women dont allow it. Situation was same in west a 100 years ago, but women stood up for their rights which gradually changed things. Also, forget about society and men, even women dont support (morally) other women (if they are divorced).
            There is another important point here, financial independence. Once a woman is financialy independent, she does not put up with every brutality beucase she knows she can take care of herself. Women who dont have any options are usually the ones who end up tolrate everything. Husband of an educated/financially independent woman will also be careful treating her bad because in back of his mind, he would know that if she leaves, she can survive.

          • Zarnab

            That’s exactly what I said, Yes, no doubt Kiran has right to stand up for her rights but the only thing which made me think was how confidently Kiran talked about her divorce/seperation without being educated/financially independent! Even her dad isn’t financially strong!
            Secondly Ms.Maria it’s not only you or me thinking that way, this is what mothers teach there daughters at a very young age that a women is expected to compromise, Im 21 and I still remember the time when I was 13 years old my mum used to tell me about how women are expected to compromise.I remember I used to have arguments with her on women rights and stuff but she always used to say in Pakistan only women are expected to compromise, even poor and even rich expect the women to compromise, it never used to make much sense to me that time but now I look around and I realize she was right!

          • pretty

            yr zarnab u r totally rite our mothers have taught us to compromise since we didn’t even knew what compromise meant… u r absolutely rite one should compromise in marriage but if ur husband think so low about u that he has rite to abuse u just because u r his wife and did something.then this is an insult of every women…. compromise AND love has its limits their is not a single book in this world which define this attitude of women as compromise, this just means that she doesn’t care whether he respect her or not he has rite to slap her… kaya aurat itne kamzor hai..??? doesn’t she has self respect.. tell me something agar kiran nay shikandar ko thappar mara hota to then sab ka kaya reaction hota…..???? itna difference kiun dono ke situation mein….. then their is another important point kiran is well educated girl and she know that she can survive without shikandar money.. she doesn’t think that shikandar has done some favor by marrying her this is just mentality of our society and shikandar. thats why she wasn’t afraid when she told shikandar about divorce.. she was sure that this marriage was shikandar idea and he has no rite to say things like he has done huge favor to her…

          • Zarnab

            I agree with you but for the educating part let me remind you Kiran isn’t even a graduate yet.She isn’t done with her college! How can you call her “well educated girl”? I know Sikander hasn’t done her a favour by marrying her, I just said she isn’t financially independent.

          • Zara

            Maria just loved ur comment.. A very
            valid reason u bought up … U rightly said ” if the
            Husband is short temper then why does
            He not hits his boss or any one else …
            Why hit only his wife . Just because she is
            Physically weak he can demonstrate is
            Anger on her .

          • pretty

            thank u zara..i appreciate it.. i have to comment on this review as i have seen so many situations in which girl’s compromise just because people call these things as chotay mootay jagray….. even my mother share same mentality and keep telling me that husband can do anything, wife has to compromise in the end…. i know girls should compromise but if ur husband doesn’t respect u then u have right to tell him or even leave him… i think women should stop making so easy for people to harass u just in name of so called COMPROMISE…

      • Mian Haseeb

        good good

      • A A

        Sikandar already knew this she is gareeb larki i am sure every boy know all things abt girl and girl’s family if thy feel someting worng why thy marry with such a girl and after shadhi thy start inslting them for such a point less things ( jahan khobsorat larki dehki pagal ho gayee aur shadhi kar lee)if Sikandar has not issue before then why after sadly this thing is very ture this happen in practical life too this drama is very close to so many girls problem

  • Maya

    wow.. I feel like I had to comment on this review. I completely agree with your review Fatima and I am quite sad to read some of the comments posted to your review – particularly Aliyaan’s comment. Kiran did not actually approach her mother-in-law with her issues, the MIL noticed it because of the scar on her face. She wasn’t trying to gain sympathy, its hard for a girl to accept that this person who claimed to be insanely in love with her could actually ever come as far as physically hitting her! and her reaction was completely justified as she was quite in shock of what had just happened with her. Patience is important yes, but the way Sikandar reacted for the very first time something happened that was out of his wish was completely uncalled for. Kiran was not threatening to leave, but it is important for her to let Sikandar know that his behavior is not acceptable – agreed that he is offering her financial security and “love” but that does not imply that he gets to “control” her in a manner he desires. I really felt a lot of respect towards Kiran’s character when she did that. Sikandar repeatedly brings up the point that she belongs to a lower class family, and he must understand that her poor family background doesn’t mean that she is “sold” to Sikandar – she doesn’t need him to buy the ground she is walking on, just a decent enough life where more than material things, she is loved and respected.

    Lastly, as far as “spoiling” comment goes – Sikandar pretended to be this liberal guy who was easy going and respected her wife’s wishes which is why Kiran may have felt that it is okay to stay out at her PARENTS’ place so he didn’t spoil her as much as her misled her. Seriously, she is not out “partying”..its a family function that she went to. If anything, Sikandar should have picked her up and talked it out with her instead of hitting her!

  • compromisation is the first thing required in any relation to make it happy and flexible where in this drama the both husbands and wife are not ready to compromise and they will even not do in future (as we can analyse) Divorce is the best solution at the time and we will see after few episodes that they will be separate.

  • ahsan

    its a nice drama but the kiran character is very immature she should take lesson from her mother Inlaw how she coped with her husband and live happily many ups and down comes in life one should be sensible not to pull on small issues

    • zam zam

      matlab thappar khati rahay apni saas ki tarah aur uss k bad i love u i love u ki lori sunti rahay ….wowwwwwwwwwww.

  • Samina Farhan

    Firstly,I think that if Fawad Khan was casted for the role of sikander, there will be more excitement and enthusiasm in the play.
    Secondly kiran should have ignored the situation because sikander did apologize or slap him back to take revenge.

    • abid

      agree in 2nd case but in 1st not cause only fawad not in this industory,I think sikandar is better option

      BR,
      abid ch

  • Zeeshan Ali

    agr sikander ne hath utha lia to kya hua us ne soorrryy kr dia na , wife and hsbnd k dermyan ye sb to chlta ha……..

    • DM

      This pathetic mentality is what doesnot let you men improve yoursleves.

      First of all, does Islam allow Sikander to hit her for what she did?
      Islam insists on oral scolding after normally forbidding her from something, then comes bed separation and hitting comes at the end.

      Despite Kiran’s immaturity and all that people are commenting below, I think MEN should now learn that hitting their wives for such trivial matters has to stopped and that a woman is completely allowed in Islam to seek divorce from such a fake and abusive lover who assumes his lover to be his property only and doesnot care about her individuality and feelings.

      It is this arrogant nature of men in our society that hitting wives is a norm, even in highly educated families. It is nice to see many less educated, middle class families in Pakistan, who respect their wives and this ultimately develops love between the couple.

      • Ruxx Inno

        I totally agree with you DM, but there is one more thing I would like to add to your views, according to Islam, if a wife does something that the husband did not like, then he has to talk to her calmly, if she disagrees, then he can scold her, and again if she disagrees, then he can separate his bed with her, and in case she still is stubborn then he can beat her like a mother beats her child with a shallow hand, and hitting on the face is not allowed, besides all the above mentioned stages apply for women who are bad charactered and do not listen to their husbands.The situation shown in the drama does not apply in this case as Kiran is not depicted as a loose character woman, she just went to see her parents without asking or informing him, and the situation was as simple as that.

        • DM

          Agreed 100%!!!

    • Naheed

      exactly , sometimes wives should even it out as well ( like kabhi kabhi wife phainti laga day) yeh to chalta rehta hai naa…isnt it Mr zeeshan Ali ..

      • Ruxx Inno

        haha i totally agree. Husbands give a 1000 reasons for their wives to slap them, I think even the wife should slap them once or twice so they find out how it feels. If Kiran would have done that, sikandar would have divorced her then and there. That’s the different between man and woman.

    • Ruxx Inno

      I believe men can’t just hit their wives because she stepped out of the house without asking of informing their husbands. Personally I don’t believe its important to ask the husband for permission to see your family, I think informing is the right thing to do. Just a mere action of a wife asking her husband’s permission to see her family only makes the man more dominant and he thinks he is the God. A relationship should be based on respect and understanding. Love will gradually creep in.

    • A A

      Wowww what a thought i want to ask u if wife slaps husband and say sorry about it what husband do will he forgive her? And Godforbid in same place will someone close to u how do u feel about that? Mr zeshan

  • ayaat

    i completely agree with ur reviews

  • ayaat

    woman want respect with love……….in previews sikander saying her about his auqat it means its in his mind always from start if he realy loves him he never think like that……….what kind of temper it is that in 2 min husband disrespect his wife and then after sometime said her to respect him ………..i dont beleive this kinda love

    • abid

      he shamed on what sikandar did but now not a big issue that kiran want to realise him,,,,first fault is kiran where story start & now again this time kiran is wrong & want a respect but she knew it well that she discussed with husband mother not her,sikandar is right now & again sorry on what he did,,totally flop to this society girls to behave like this type

      BR,
      Abid Ch

  • Ch Sarmad Amin

    that is pet thinking of Ellite class 2 ruin the igos of dignified people

  • Naheed

    A great review Fatima. I am surprised to read few comments in support of Sikandar and considering Kiran responsible for the situation .The poor girl is not only being physically abused but the emotional scars they all are leaving on her personality ( by insulting her day and night) are unimaginable, which are not even considered as abuse in our culture.Money and material things cant be a substitute for respect,at least not for everyone.If Sikandar is such a short tempered man ,why he doesn’t hit his boss at work when he is angry or rages out in public. He hits Kiran because he thinks it is justifiable and he takes her for granted.Thats what he has learnt all his life from his environment his parents and And we as a society has given this courage and right to all the Sikanders by supporting them.

  • FatimaAwan

    Hello Everyone, thank you so much for reading the review and for the valuable feedback. Why are we forgetting that Shaista found out about the physical abuse herself and Kiran never went running to her, she did not even ask Shaista for help. Shaista has always been the one who raises the issue, Kiran only replies to her – which is not wrong in any way. This is why I feel that Kiran is only guilty of expressing her opinion openly and nothing else. Yes, I agree she should have asked Sikandar before going to her mother’s house but these minor issues are quite common in the early years of marriage and couples who love AND respect each other usually solve them without physically abusing each other! Arguments are very common in every marriage; Is Sikandar going to beat Kiran up every time she “talks back” – Is she a pet who needs to be tamed or is she a human who should be understood? The whole thing was blown out of proportion and yes it was Kiran’s fault to begin with but physical abuse does not resolve any problems and no woman should be expected to put up with it. I think Kiran is right in taking a stand, she is basically trying to ensure that the hitting incident does not happen again.
    In my opinion children learn more from their environment than the books they read and the advices their elders give them. Sikandar’s father was a bad example in the house; that is the reason why Sikandar thinks he can get away with beating up his wife and it is not that big a deal. Parents have to be good role models for children, that is more important than sending them to expensive schools and giving them lectures. I can see that many people are blaming Shaista for not raising her son in a way that he would respect women but I don’t understand why Waqar is not being held responsible for beating up his wife in front of his son!
    I agree with you Soni, yes I have rarely seen men who take an about turn like that. If a man abuses his wife and his wife does not retaliate in any way than it is bound to get worse. That is a very valid point.
    Thank you everyone once again for sharing your thoughts here – hopefully things will get clearer as the story progresses.

    • zam zam

      i totally totally agree wid u
      i dont know why people here are so keen to give lessons of “Sabar” to kiran (girlz)
      why cant even a single person suggest skindar to understand her wife
      she is definitely right in her aspect . love is not more important than izzat. i my self ll prefer honour than being loved madly and having thappars and izzat afzai on such little talk backs
      and kiran is surely dragging this bcoz she wanna ensure than skinder must not do this shameful act again. coz she knows if she ll melt down a little sikander bander will do this again and again.

      • Amna Khuram

        I totally agree with Fatimah….
        Shaista should have dealt with the crisis wisely after wat ever had happened…
        in the first place Sikander was wrong in beating his wife n secondly if Kiran shared her problem with her mother in law seeking her advise or sharing her opinion shaista blasted off the news to Kiran s mother n the news will spread in no time…..

    • Imran Naseem

      hi Fatima

      i hope this comment find u in good health.
      i am a gargantuan fan of your analytical skills and following your reviews since quite long, though i never commented them.just wan t to skew your attention toward drama “ULLU BRAYE FAROOKHT NAI”. why u r not reviewing it? each actor seem to be in top notch form pertinently nomaan ijaz, his sisters, saba qamar and last but not the least sohail ahmad (bible of acting). that show based on actuality and exactly depicts the underbelly of our feudal system in rustic areas………..hope i ll see the reviews for the remainder episods.
      your hardcore fan.

      imraan

    • Mrs Asim

      no Fatima I dont agree with Sony, exceptions are always there anyway. and I have seen at least 3 people in my life who turned into nice men in old age while they were short tempered and violent in young age. on the other hand my own real mamu is a person who was nice and soft in young age and turned into an angry old man now:) one cant say kay aisa toa hota hi nahi, sab hota hay g.

      • FatimaAwan

        I agree with you Mrs. Asim sub kuch hota hai is duniya mein, I guess we all talk out of our own experiences and the kind of people we have seen in our lives. All the abusive husbands I know were like that right from the beginning but there are a couple who turned violent in old age but that was due to their mental condition – excessive untreated depression etc. It is good to know that you know men who mellowed down with time.

    • Aysha

      Fatima,
      I am sorry but I will disagree with you that kiran should have taken her
      husband’s “permission” before going to meet her parents. I agree that
      husband and wife should always inform each other wherever they are because
      loving couples care for each other and love each other. But there is a big
      difference between informing each other and taking “permission”
      before stepping out of the house. I myself call my husband and let him know
      even I am half an hour late from work, because I know he will worry about me if
      everything is ok. And my husband does the same because he knows I care for himand will worry about him. Even we step out for groceries, its a rule in our
      house to inform each other and one should know where the other person is. In
      this drama, Fahad KNEW where kiran was. She had informed her mother in-law. Itwas not that he was concerned about her. He just wanted the control over her.
      As he told kiran “tum nay bataya tha, ijazat to naheen lee thee”. I
      also agree that if husband or wife are doing anything (even small)which can
      impact their spouse/family anyways should always be discussed between each
      other, But, husband and wife relationship is not a master/slave relationship
      where an adult need to take “permission” before stepping out of the house..
      Kiran is an adult human being with brain who can differentiate between right
      and wrong. She does not need permission to meet her parents (but her spouse
      should know where she is). All who are saying she needs to take
      “permission”, I will ask only one question, what if you ask”permission” from your husband to meet your parents and he refuses because
      he does not like them? would u stop seeing your parents? if NO, then whats the
      point of taking “permission”???
      Pleasedont take me wrong. When I want to go to my mom’s (in a different town), I would always “discuss” with my husband and if he would say very
      nicely “yaar please itnay din mat raho na, i will miss you”, I would either cut my trip short or I would convince him why I need to be there. When he
      goes out for hunting/camping trips with his friends, he will discuss it with me
      as well. But none of us need “permission” because its suffocating, we
      are adults and know our responsibilities as husband/wife and father/mother and
      keep our roles in mind before doing anything.

      • FatimaAwan

        Very valid point Aysha, I must say that you are right. Honestly speaking most couples who have a healthy relationship do inform each other unless yes the wife has to be away for long or she has a previous engagement with her in laws or husband.

        • Aysha

          Thanks for understanding my point. I think in this entire situation, kiran is completely innocent. Her only fault is , she has a mind of her own and does not want someone to treat her like slave. Unfortunately, in our culure, even disagreement with husband is considered disrespectful to him, but in good relationships, disagreement and diffrence of opinion are considered healthy becuase it makes u think and u look at the same situation with a different angle. In healthy relationships, in case of disagreement, one of the partner is able to convince the other with logic and reason and they resolve the issue in a civil manner. Life becomes beautiful when both the partners in marriage have same goal to achive (happiness of each other and make each other successful by working as team)

  • iqrashoaib

    sikandar belongs to well educated n suphisticated famliy n his behaviour wid his wife is nt good usay be thora meture behave krna chaeye shadi krtay waqt ye bat samj leni chaheye thi k wo eski class may adjust kray gi ya nae estrha say har time tount krna aur har bat par larna show krta ha k sari seducation us ky sar k oper say guzar gae..uski education nay usay perfect bussiness man to bna dia lakin acha insan aur civilized human being na bna saki..

  • sarah

    Man have no right to hit his wife. Allah don’t allow this. This is domestic abuse.

  • Imran Naseem

    hi Fatima
    i hope this comment find u in good health.
    i am a gargantuan fan of your analytical skills and following your reviews since quite long, though i never commented them.just wan t to skew your attention toward drama “ULLU BRAYE FAROOKHT NAI”. why u r not reviewing it? each actor seem to be in top notch form pertinently nomaan ijaz, his sisters, saba qamar and last but not the least sohail ahmad (bible of acting). that show based on actuality and exactly depicts the underbelly of our feudal system in rustic areas………..hope i ll see the reviews for the remainder episods.
    your hardcore fan.

    imraan

  • Guest 40

    Asalam O Alaikum 2 every 1. Mujhe pata tha k Fatima aisa hi review degi b/c mein is reviews irregularly sahi par ZGH se dekh raha hn. In all this situation, mein Sikandar k saath hun puri tarha nhi kyun k janta hun k wo ghalat kraha hai lekin mujhe Shaista ka dialogue buht pasand aya “Yehi to masla hai aj kal ki ladkiom k saath, dimagh saatwen aasman par hota hai” aur promo mein Sikandar ka dialogue suna tha “Aj kal ki ladkian kesi hoti hain, moon phat, ghar basana to ata hi nhi inhen”. I like Umera’s writing pr mrin janta hun wo kia pesh krna chah rahi hai, bilkul wo jo Fatima keh rahi hai pr unhon situation buht khubsurat banai hai aur foran Sikandar ka zalim nhi dikhaya. Kiran yahan pr ego show krahi hai, janta hun kSikandar ne ghalat kia lekin 1 baat ko ghasitna ghasitna aur 1 misbehaviour pe itna shor machana, ye waqai mein is waja se hai kyu k Sikandar ne is itna love aur care dia k wo is cheez ka soch bhi nhi skti aur Sikandar ki maa ne bhi thk kaha k shohar k paise aur pyar ko hi nhi pasad krna chahye balke ghusa bhi bardasht krna chahye aur ye problem Sikandar k saath beth kr aise waqt mein solve krna chahye jab dono normal hon. Han Sikandar ne ghalat kia lekin use ehsas to hai aur us ne admit kia, maafi mangi manane ki koshish ki lekin Kiran ka mood continuously aisa tha kese ise talaq de di ho, koi zbrsti bhi chahe to weeks pr aisi baat ko le k aisa mood nhi bana skta incase k samne wala manane ki struggle kraha ho. Kiran un gharon ka soche jin mein mard ladkion pr haath uthana farz samajhte hain aur continuosly haath uthate hain jab tk thk na jaen not just a slap aur har pal taane dete rehte hain for a very little xmple, MERE KHAWABON KA DYA mein Tipu ka role hai, ye to sahi xmple bhi nhi wrna kai jaghon pr is se bhi ziada hota hai. Kiran ko bura laga to next time ki insurance le kr problem solve kare jesa is episode mein tha lekin us k baad bhi us ki maa k saath discus krna yani us ne is baat ko zbrdasti ana ka masla bna dia hai, aur Shaista ki jo xmple thi k us ne compromise kia aur ab wo sukoon se hai yehi wo Kiran se chahti hai isi lye us ne 7th aasman wala dialogue bola jo k bilkul sahi hai kyu k wo purane zamane kia urat thi to us ne ghar basaya lekin aj kal ki ladkian itne pyar k bawajood 1 baat brdasht nhi krten yehi dekh k Shaista ko ghusa aya aur waqai isi lye ghr nhi basete aur aj kal to khas tor par, dramas mein bhi talaq ko, 2nd shadi ko, halale ko, 1 ko chor kr dusre k pas jane ko itna copmmon dikhaya hai k kajin real life mein bhi common practising na ban jae, aisa (ALLAH na kare) hua to hum mein aur Westerns mein kia farq reh jae ga. kiran ko har us baat se avoid krna chahye jo Sikandar k lye iritating hai ya ghuse ki waja jesa k wo pehle explain krta hai, is ka matlab ye nhi k Sikandar jo marzi hai chahe kare aur apna ikhtiar istimal kare bas lekin us se aise waqt mein akele mein problems discus kare aur use samjhae jab dono normal mood mein hon. Mujhe to honestly buht ghusa tha Kiran pe khas tor par jo behaviour wo apne maa baap k samne krti hai banda use ghr hi chor jae wahin bethi rahe kyu k 1 baat pr to saari zindagi nhi guzar skti lekin wo to continuosly aise react kr rahi thi jese roz use subah sham mar parti ho. Sory mera coment review se bhi bara ho gya lekin mujhe Kiran k character pr zarur likhna tha aur mein abhi buht kuch nhi bhi likh paya hn jitna socha tha lekin i think its enough kyu k is se ziada likhna unglian thakana hai :D.

    • aisha rehman

      i totally agree with your comment.. larkiun ko apna dimagh zameen per he rkhna chahiye.. aik thappar ko itna bara issue nahe bnana chahiye, aur after all wo uska shohar ha, usay uski hr bat maan’ni chahiye ,

  • Sadaf Haider

    Excellent review Fatima . a pleasure to read.I agree these are only minor issues . if sekander reacts like this to minor things how eill he react to the big stuff .this is unacceptable ..the lavish gifts afterwards prove it.

  • Sadaf Haider

    There is no such thing as Sabar for physical abusenn1

  • A A

    I cant understand wat people r trying to say girl should bardast all things even haht uthna tek wat husband feel wife is our property ,thy forget she is daughter or sister of somebody some men feel ke after marrige girl should a wife rest relation r finshed when she left home of perents in bridel dress and become bhau and wife thy want she should feel like she was yateem etc so susral wale and husband can do any thing with her for lifetime really strange. And more thing i cant understant jab ek aurat jab ossi dard se guzar choki hai tu woh apni bhau ka dard samajh nahi sakti haan agar saas ki beti ka essa masla hota tu reaction alag hota, and one more thing if their is true love in relation will be respect also if respect is their true love bhi hoga and yeh dono nahin honge tu sirf insult hogi aur aurt ko sirf compromise and bardasht hi karna parega is tu behtar yeh hai ke is rishte ko kissi teeseri zindgi ke Anne se phale he katam kar lene chayee or ke aurt main itni taqat hoti hai ke wo withou men she can live happy like after childern its very difficult to end marrige bcz of this childern sufer more

  • TSBindra

    Fatima, the review is great. Umera Ahmed at her best…. she has opened up a great debate. Your observation about familys and views are splendid but you must have noticed that many comments disagree.
    Sikandar’s ‘love’ is possession and total control. This is typical about men and the society supports, and even Kiran’s mother!
    Woman is the woman’s big enemy….Shaista’s attitude explains!
    Sanam’ acting and direction is superb. You can see the pain in her face.
    Sikandar’s father is mute.
    Separation is inevitable but let us hope for a good drama.

  • MeMyself

    God has granted humans with a basic sense of self-preservation. When you feel this aspect of existence “threatened” then you take appropriate actions to survive/deflect this threat. Kiran is doing exactly that. Her “confrontation” is a step in ensuring self-preservation. Sikander is confusing a strong attraction/romantic desire towards Kiran with love. He does not “love” her. He is simply infatuated. Real love requires respect, care, compassion, consideration, affection – a bond that develops over time.

  • MeMyself

    This drama is showing that the interconnected world of today has helped women realize that they have choices. These women have witnessed the loveless marriages of previous generations. They probably saw their mothers or aunts or grandmothers or sisters suffer physical, emotional, psychological, verbal abuse and neglect and they are deciding not to accept that in their own marriages. All women, including Kiran has the full right to make the choice to walk out of an abusive relationship no matter how glamorous it is. No marriage is without problems. “Sabr” has its own place, however, you should not have to be abused and humiliated to make your marriage work.

  • anonymous

    For those
    who don’t have a facebook or google etc. account it is not possible anymore to
    post their comments beneath serials since dramas online has removed the option “I’d
    rather post as guest” with the exception of this page. I request to dramas
    online to start this option again not to discriminate someone. There are still communities on the face of
    this earth where it is considered inappropriate to have an account in
    above-named forums. Dramas online should not discriminate such people.

  • Silver Eyes

    Fatima !! just love ur reviews… ur reviews reflect my thoughts 😀 hehehe.. i totally agree with all ur points…. this time we dont have that typical girl who bears all the opression and injustice of her husband and stay quiet.. atleast kiran showed some attitude to sikander to made him realize that what he did was totally out of the question…. the best thing about this episode was kiran saying straightforwardly to sikander that the nexttime u r going to do the same m gona leave !! at the start of kankar people were disappointed from the script as it was something very typical ( atleast for me), however Now missing any episode koi scene hi nai hai yar 😀 keep writing Fatima … best of luck !! 🙂

    • FatimaAwan

      Silver Eyes, I am so glad that you like the reviews:) I agree with you, I didn’t have high hopes for Kankar too but It has raised a very important issue. Totally agree with you, I loved that conversation, when Sikandar asks her “don’t you love me”? her reply was perfect! Thanks a ton for your encouraging words, they really mean a lot to me.

  • nina

    she iz over reacting

  • Parsa Ali

    Actually kiran is a type ov girl who prefer respect over love….like me…..even i reject d person whom i luv most just cox he can,t respect women…all a girl want is respect n care…bt sorry 2 say i hardly see such men….n d best dialogue ov d episode is whn kiran said mai tmhy chor dn gi agr tm ny dobara mj py hath uthaya….mohabt h magr mohbt hatm b ho skti h….grt lines….showing how much self respect kiran has she dn,t care even if she has 2 live wdout her luxury life…all she want is respect…some says dt ds tym umaira give an ordinary story bt no umaira rock again…

  • Aiman

    Ohk aaj itne aarse baad comment ker rahi hoon..itni garma garam behas ho rahi hai…koi Kiran ko support kar raha koi Sikandar ko..esp Khawateen ki majority Sikandar k support main hai….But Main team KIRAN main hoon…halankeh usne issue ko drag kar dia kafi..ab koi maafi mang raha hai aur yeh assure ker raha hai keh dobara kabhi nahi hoga to baat khatam ker keh aageh barh jana chahiye..but Kiran ki choti moti ghaltiyon per Sikandar khud to har har dafa Over react kerta hai but jab khud koi Bari mistake kerta hai to usko “choti si baat” keh ker aageh barhne ko kehta hai….
    Yahan per larkion keh comments keh “ghalti saari kiran ki hai” parh keh bohat ghussa aaraha hai..buss hamari society main mardon ko hamisha “monster” bana ker paish kia jata rahega keh “unka khud per koi control nahi hota” but aurat ko Allah ne kissi aur matti se banaya hai shayad keh hamisha women se expect kia jata hai keh woh khud per “control” rakhe..kion bhai?? woh bhi to insan hai..agar Kiran se sub expect ker rahe hain keh woh Sikandar ki ghaltion ko dar-guzar aur ziyadtion per “sabar” kare to phir Sikandar ko bhi to uski choti choti si mistakes ko maaf karna chahiye na…but hamare haan to khawateen ki majority buss Kiran ko “Sabar” ka dars dai rahi hain…i really hope atleast Umera mujhko disappoint nahi karengi…infact unho ne kese Sikandar ki hypocrisy ko show kia…Kiran se ek dafa ghalti ho gai keh woh bataye baghair chali gai apni amma keh haan to itna hangama but jab Kiran ne Sikandar se chand ques poch liye keh kahan gai the etc etc to foran ghussa kerte howe keh diya keh mujhe aise ques pasand nahi aur tmhara “janna” zarori nahi…..woh Urdu ka muhawra hai na “chat bhi meri aur pat bhi meri ..thenga tera”…saare Hukook Sikandar keh aur saare Faraaiz Kiran keh…..

    • FatimaAwan

      Kya baat hai Aiman, maza aa gaya. Yes I also hope that Umera Ahmed will be able to convince the viewers that it was Sikandar who was at fault. Exactly, when Kiran asks Sikandar then he gets so annoyed. I agree such double standards do exist in our society but there are things you compromise on and there are places where you have to draw a BIG line and Kiran is doing just that. She is only trying to ensure that the hitting incident does not happen again but Sikandar is a control freak so it won’t be easy for Kiran to please his majesty! People say that such things happen in our society and women put up with it, so do we want things to continue being this way or do we want them to change? In order to change anything at all, first of all we have to change our mindset and distinguish right from wrong.

    • Mrs Asim

      🙂 lol very interesting comment. totally agree with u Aiman. another thing all r forgetting that Kiran actually got upset when Sikandar talked disrespectfully about her parents, which shows that he doesn’t respect her at all. or han Umera bilkul apko disappoint nahi karaingi 🙂

  • TSBindra

    Fatima! After reading many comments, I’m once again obliged to comment. I fully appreciate and agree with your original comments. For the sake of understanding, I reconstruct the ‘slap’ episode:

    Kiran goes to her parents home without informing any one, a minor mistake. Remember she has been provided with her own car and a driver! For what purpose?
    Sikandar, when returning home and not finding her find out that she has gone to her parents where a marriage ceremony is taking place.
    He hits the roof and calls her and tells to come home immediately. When she asks him to arrange transport, he retorts ‘main tumaary baap ka nuaker nahin hoon’. This was not a kankar but a hugh pathar.

    Kiran comes home equally angry. Remember, we are in 21st century and she is an educated college girl.
    Then the arguments between two angry persons. Kiran is rightly angry whereas Sikanar’s anger is uncalled for on such a petty issue. Slkandar says he did a mistake to marry her, she retorts the same. And then the SLAP.

    NOW, WHERE IS KIRAN’S FAULT! Please someone explain.

    • FatimaAwan

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I agree,
      Sikandar’s attitude was shocking for Kiran and she is not the kind of girl who
      bears with everything without expressing how she feels. The sad part is that
      Sikandar doesn’t think that hitting his wife is anything grave, which like I
      said earlier is something he picked up from his environment, he saw his father
      hitting his mother and saw his mother putting up with the abuse, so he thinks
      it is something “normal”. I wish we knew that what was it about Kiran that made
      Sikandar fall in love with her.

      • MeMyself

        For this you have to examine what “love” mean. Sikander in no way “loves” Kiran. He is strongly attracted to her but what he feels isn’t love.

  • Aysha

    viewers we are mixing things up here and fogetting something. Everyone is connecting Sikandars hiting with Kiran’s trip to her mom without informing him, BUT, sikandar did not slap kiran for going to her mom’s. Sikandar slapped her just beucase she responded to sikander when he said ” tum say shaadi meri zindagi kee sab say bari ghalti thee”. All she said is “Meir bhee”. She didnt say anything different than what sikandar said. The argument started when sikandar was blaming kiran that she has told her parents to come and talk about her stay at her mom’s place for the wedding. Kiran kept saying that she did not discuss that with her parents(which was true) , then he started insulting her parents, thats when things flared up and he slapped her for no reason.

    • aisha rehman

      yehe choti choti baaten hoti hain jin se farq parta hai… agar kiran sikander ki ba nahe manti to is ka matlab yeh hai k wo apne husband ki respect nahe krti so how can she expect to get respect from him?? when she also looks down upon him..
      Actually kiran is a compelexed girl.. aur at the end “Taali aik hath se nahe bajti”..
      qasoor donon ka he hai.. main ne kbhe real life mein bhe apne saamnay kisi aurat ko apne husband k aagay itni behas krtay huay nahe dekha.. its really wierd.. sikander ne koi bila wjah to hath nhe uthaya tha us pe… Think about it

      • Aysha

        Miss aisha, when u said “sikandar nay bila wajah to haath naheen uthaya”, this sentence reminded me of my maasi (maid)… one day the poor lady came and her face had a big mark, she told me that her husband slapped her, you know what the reason was? She accidently put too much salt in the food. When I called her husband and asked him, he said EXACTLY what you said, ” baji main nay bila wajah to haath naheen uthaya, ager khana dayhan say pakati to mujhay gussa hee na ataa” .
        If u talk about situations/reason when abuse is ok, every man will give u a reason why did they abuse a woman and they wil justify it. BUT KEEP IN MIND, NO MATTER WHAT THE REASON IS, AN ABUSE CAN NEVER BE JUSTIFIED. The worse thing is, you girls are blaming the abused instead of abuser

        • aisha rehman

          but you have to admit this fact k kiran bdtmeezi krti hai…aur ghalti donon he ki hai… what i was saying is k sb log sirf sikander he ko ilzam na dain… shaadi k baad to buht kuch brdasht krna parta hai.. aur kiran behas mein parr kr maamlay ko mzeed bigaar rahe the..
          sikander ne hath uthaya yeh uski ghalti the..but baqi saari baten uski theek he thein

          • Aysha

            miss rehman, unfortunately, in our culture, if a woman explains her position or if she thinks differently than her husband and unfortunately expresses her opinion, its called BADTAMEZI and DISRESPECT. As I gave u the massi example, when her husband asked her about too much salt in the salan, all she did is explained what had happend, and her husband said “mujh say badtameezi kerti hay”.
            Also, In rest of the world, difference of opinion is not called disrespect 🙂 . Its considered healthy. In my own example, me and my husband disagree sometimes but we dont force each other to agree . If we have to make a big decision and we disagree with each other, we sit and talk, he is willing to listen to my point of view and I am willing to listen his. No one controls the other. Sometimes my husband is able to convince me with logic/reason that he is right and sometimes I am able to convince 🙂

  • TSBindra

    Maria, well said, totally agree.